i always start off saying, wow havent written on this in awhile.

haha but its true. 

i was deciding weather or not if i should keep my previous posts and starting fresh.

but i just read the one before this...and boy was i funny! lol 

its crazy how much my thoughts change in a span of time but then again not really.

i have been feeling down lately. maybe its cause i been so busy

that i dont really have much time to do what i want to do.  Even

though all this work and school will payoff in the long run. im just content right now.

and thats the problem. i dont like being content.  i want to be happy, to its full extent. 

but really, i think its impossible as this time. 

been lonely lately.

my sister left for the grand canyon last week, my parents in a different house doing their 

own thing, got in an argument with two of my closest friends.  

i thought of a quote: It’s hard to find someone that cares more than you, yourself, that does too much of it.

basically, i care a little too much. as much as i want/ have these expectation for someone to give back

to me, it never goes through. which hurts me.  I guess some people just dont think the way i do.  They

dont know what i want. and im not the kind to tell them to do it because it has to come naturally.  

is it wrong to care too much?? maybe i should careless.

I just wish that there was someone there for me 100%.  Knows my exact wants and needs.  Some say that its your soulmate or best friend.  And for some reason, i dont feel like i have any of that going on anywhere.  Family is different. 

anyways, tomorrow is my last day of maymester for business calc and payday!

im thinking of buying something nice for me this weekend, cause i know i deserve it :)

 happy friday!!